☀️ Morning Routine

I woke myself up this morning with my own nauseating farts. Yuck, time to get up! Luckily I've got the perfect morning routine to handle this! 😍


10 min read

Written by Haley 💕 Spring 2020


Yesterday, I woke up super gassy. Like literally, I launched a fart in my sleep that was so foul, it woke me up and filled the room with a stench that made my eyes water. I had to run out of there! But first, I giggled as I carefully pulled the covers over my slave’s head and grunted again, farting another steamy nose hair burner. It was soft and hissy but holy shit did it reek! It had to last at least 6-8 seconds long. Then I giggled and quietly got up to run out of the room, choking a little as I left him stuffed in my dutch oven. Ugh so gross lol

The night before, I’d had macoroni and cheese with paprika, garlic and chili powder. And a bunch of sautéed broccoli stirred in. It gave me a ton of gas and turned my farts lethal!

He came out only a couple minutes after me, literally gagging and choking. “Haley! What the hell!” He whined, glaring at me. I giggled loudly and bounced on my heels, my perky ass cheeks bouncing in my fuzzy short shorts. After my unbearable farts woke both of us up, I just kept farting every few minutes all morning! God they burned and stunk so bad!

I made breakfast. 2 fried eggs. With lots of garlic. On a bagel. Covered in melted cheese. With ham and bacon. Mmmm so delish!! But it only made my farts worse. After breakfast, we sat on the couch. My tummy was grumbling so much. And now I was farting more frequently.

“Baby? I need you to lay down on the couch. Now.” I ordered, half whining but still sounding very stern. He looked over at me with panic in his eyes. He knew what was coming. “No, please...” He cried, shaking his head slowly. He did NOT want me to sit on his face. I’m serious you guys, my farts were deadly! xD

“Stand up.” I coldly commanded. He whimpered, still frozen. I huffed and sighed in annoyance, standing up. I put my hands on my hips, stuck my ass out to the side, and stared down at him, my eyebrows arched wide with a bratty look on my face. “NOW! Or I’m locking you in my smother chair all fucking day, slave!!” I growled, licking my lips and curling them into a wet, wicked grin. He looked up at me sadly, and finally stood up.

“Hands behind your back.” “Haley I’ll be good, you don’t have to-“ “DO IT!” I yelled, interrupting him. He absolutely needed to be handcuffed. When he took one whiff of my toxic morning farts straight up the nose, he was going to fight me, there was no doubt in my mind!

He sighed deeply and put his hands behind him. I beamed up at him, giggling as I stood on my tippy toes to kiss his neck. “Mmm. Good boy!” I grabbed some handcuffs out of the coffee table storage compartment and told him to turn around, quickly securing his hands behind his back. Then I snapped my fingers and pointed to the couch. “Down, bitch!”

He whimpered and laid down. I giggled happily, feeling another huge, nauseating fart burbling in my belly. I rubbed my soft skin gently in a circular motion just above my waist and groaned. “I hope you’re ready for this, baby. It’s gonna SUCK!” I taunted down at him. His eyes went wide and he shook his head. “Well, too bad. Get ready. It’s happening!” I explained, squealing happily as I quickly plopped my stinky butt right on his yelping face. I wiggled around until I felt his nose sink into my crack. Mmmmm! His nose feels so good pressed against my asshole!

Even with my thin fuzzy shorts on, he started balking immediately. I’m sure my shorts still reeked of stale farts. And no sooner had he taken a couple of breaths and started squirming desperately under me, I began grunting. Soft, cute little girlish grunts, exhaling through my nostrils. My tummy grumbled again, and a huge, burbling fart erupted out my puckering asshole!

“Ohhh it burns!! Sniff it good, slave. I can’t stand to smell these!” I covered my face and squealed in disgust as another fart immediately followed. Even though he was screaming, the deep, rumbling sound of my long fart almost completely drowned him out. “Ugh. It burns!!” I whined, arching my back and wiggling my asshole against his nose. Then the smell wafted up. Omg my eyes just burned! It was brutal. Thick and eggy at first, and then it turned cheesy, with a maddening tinge of rotten vegetables and pure fecal horror. I covered my face again. It felt so good to pump this out and straight up his nose, but holy SHIT did it stink!!

I felt the hot, wet, steamy air filling my shorts. It swirled around as he tried to sniff it, retching violently with each inhale. It was soo hot against my butt!! God what a steamer!

“Ohhhh fuck. That’s NASTY!!” I whined, groaning into my fingers. I tilted my chin up to the ceiling and turned my head, trying not to gag as my eyes kept watering. Slaveboy was panicking under me at this point, his neck bulging between my thighs. I heard and saw him heaving over and over again, gagging into his mouth and gulping hard. The stink made him crazy! I sat there for a minute and made him keep sniffing until he had filtered most of it out of my shorts.

Then I quickly stood up and peeled them down around my big, meaty ass. My tight, perky cheeks jiggled slightly as I stepped clumsily out of my shorts and kicked them to the side. Slaveboy wailed, staring up at me as I walked backwards, closing in on his face with my sexy, terrifying ass. “NO! Haley please NO MORE!! Your farts are fucking LETHAL right now, I’m gonna be sick!!” He begged and cried, squirming like a worm on a hook.

I flicked my hair over my shoulder and looked back at him, grinning arrogantly down at him with my cold, piercing baby blue eyes. “I know. That’s why you have to smell them. This is your job, baby!” My tone was innocent, cute and sweet. But my words were cold and cruel. I bit my lip and giggled happily as I took one last step back and reached behind me to pull my perfect ass cheeks apart, squealing in excited disgust as I lowered my naked fart cannon right onto his nose! I felt it slide inside my greasy cavern, and his nostrils flattened against my pulsing steam vent. Just in time, too. My tummy gurgled again and I giggled, grunting as he screamed in terrified panic.

“Sniff it deep or the next one is going in your mouth, bitch!” I called down, my tone now snobby and demanding. He yelped, and his whole body flinched as my asshole began oozing a methane murder weapon right up his nostrils. It was so thick it almost clogged his sinus! I heard him snorting and wailing in misery as the burning plug of my unreasonably stinky shit wind slithered through his nasal passage. His eyes watered so much I could feel them getting wet against my sticky butt cheeks. I sighed happily and leaned back, completely smothering him in the maddening stink. “Yummy, RIGHT BABE?” I taunted down at him. He thrashed hard under me. “Stop squirming. You’re not going anywhere!” I giggled out, fully enjoying his terrified reaction.

Unfortunately, I still smelled it. I mean it wasn’t his fault, he was trying. But ugh. My farts were just so nasty. It was too much. I felt my stomach churn as I gagged on the thick, moist air rising from under me. I covered my nose again. “Jesus christ... you’re just not doing it right, slave!” I groaned out in absolute disgust. That’s it. I knew what had to happen.

I slid my asshole down about an inch, until it pooched out over his lips. I felt his face squirming desperately under me as he also knew what was about to happen. I positioned his nose so that it was still inside my farty ass crack, and began pushing hard, pooching and pulsing my entire anus against his lips. He tried to shake his head, but my feet kept him locked still. He tried to buck me off, but I arched my back and drilled him down into the couch. He tried to thrash free but with his hands bound behind and under him, he didn’t have the leverage. He was absolutely trapped!! xD

“Open wide, baby!” I ordered. He didn’t. “NOW, SLAVE!” He still didn’t. And I had to fart again. Bad. My tummy grumbled and I got impatient. I reached down between my thighs and gripped his jaw in my fingers, squeezing tight until he yelped a little. “Open your fucking mouth right fucking now or I’m filling it with more than just farts you pathetic little bitch!” I hissed. My words were like ice. I felt him shudder under me. And then his fart receptacle opened wide, as his breath trembled and whimpered past his lips in a pitiful little whine.

“Mmm. Good boy.” I purred, quickly mashing my meaty asshole right into his mouth. It squished past his lips and pulsed against his tongue. He balked and tried to flatten it away from my puckering fart spewer, but there was no escape. I applied all my weight to him and sealed his mouth tightly around my stinky little butthole, and pushed. Push push push. Grunt grunt. Sharp exhales. Ugh. It’s coming! I can feel it. My rotten butt belch swirled around just inside my puckering stink pocket and I felt it loading itself up. Finally! Sweet release!

I launched a fart so huge it poofed out his cheeks! It was so so loud and hallow, stuffed right in his mouth!! “Ahhhhh!!” I sighed happily. He started to scream. “No no! Shut up! Just hold it in your lungs. Hold it like a fucking bong hit, bitch. You’re gonna get high on my farts!” I cackled. He whimpered but quickly went still. Meanwhile, I felt another toxic fart brewing. Oh, this was just perfect! xD

He squirmed. “Mmm. Keep holding it!” I giggled quietly as he whimpered. I tilted my chin up and examined my nails, passing the time happily as my rancid fart grenade detonated itself around and around inside his lungs, burning and punishing him. He yelped desperately. “Keep holding, bitch.” I said causally.

30 seconds went by. 40. A minute. Finally, I smirked into my teeth and let out an evil little cackle as I quickly slid my ass back and engulfed his nose in the raw musk of my naked, raunchy asshole. “Okay baby. Swallow it! Then you can breathe!” I sealed his mouth off with my wet, tight pussy, ensuring he could only get his air through his nose, and then I pushed. He gulped loudly and exhaled in a huge, panicked bath of hot, farty breath. And just as he began inhaling, my filthy asshole gripped his nose and milked it deep inside it’s smelly grasp, surrounding it as a steaming, sulfur shockwave oozed straight up into his flaring nostrils! It dripped like lava as the steam attacked his senses, and then quickly picked up speed and became loud and deep, echoing as it pumped directly and violently into his nostrils.

I shivered and bit my lip, moaning as he tried to yelp into my throbbing pussy, grinding him harder and fucking his nose up my asshole. I was STILL farting. I couldn’t believe it!! He had inhaled and exhaled at least six times. And all he got for oxygen was the stale fart from his lungs and a fresh, thick, eggy shit blower that positively reeked of death, decay and hell. And it burned. Oh god did it burn. I squealed as my asshole kept squirting this boiling wind right up his nose. How he didn’t blackout, I don’t know.

Finally, after a few minutes, I reluctantly climbed off his face. His eyes were red and watery and his cheeks were bright purple. He could barely move. I giggled at him happily and stuck my tongue out, wrinkling my nose and nibbling on the tip of my tongue. “You still alive??” I teased in a childish, goofy voice. He groaned loudly. I helped him sit up and uncuffed him, and then sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Thanks for being my fart filter, baby!” I giggled happily as I nuzzled into his chest. He groaned again, still gasping and choking a bit. “You look a little woozy! Everything okay babe?” I taunted. He glared at me and I cackled like an evil demon, nuzzling his chest again.

“Oh, babe? I wanna go to the gym soon. So that means protein shake. And I want you to do those tower squats with me. Which really gets things moving.” I giggled as his eyes went wide.

Tower squats, by the way, are where he puts his back against the wall in a squat position and holds still. Then I stand on his thighs, my butt facing his face. I stick my ass way out, and then do verrrry slow squats up and down. I always make sure his nose slides right in between my cheeks each time I go up and down. And if I have to fart, I do it right up his nose and hold that squat there for at least 10-15 seconds, with his face right in my butt!! It’s a great workout and it’s so fun!! It makes me giggle every time, especially when people are watching us :D

“And I know you tried your best baby, but you really failed at sniffing my farts good enough. And I definitely don’t want to smell them. Especially after a protein shake. They’re already making me sick and it’s only going to get worse! So as punishment, you are getting locked into my smotherbench when we get back from the gym. And you have to be my gaming chair and fart vacuum until bedtime while I play Link’s Awakening. And maybe some Borderlands 3. And you KNOW how addicted to those games I am right now. So, yeah. Long night for you. Sorry sweetie!!”

I let out an evil laugh as I watched his mouth fall open. His face went pale and he started trembling under me. I kept laughing and wiggled my ass on his lap, tilting my face up to kiss his chin. “Phew! Your face stinks!!” I giggled out. Then I jumped up and ran to the kitchen to make my protein shake. “Get ready babe, I wanna head out soon so we can get back and get started!!” He whimpered and shuffled to the bedroom to get dressed. I grinned ear to ear, farting another stinker in the kitchen and wrinkling my nose as the smell almost stunk me out. GROSS!!

I choked a little and giggled excitedly. I couldn’t wait to go to the gym and get back!! YAY!!

Slaveboy had a long and brutal night ahead of him, let me tell you. Yeah. Yesterday was awesome!! :DDD I almost felt bad for him by the end of the night. But not enough to stop hahaha! Oh well, just another day for my slave! 🤷‍♀️

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